“Nowhere Stairs”
Everything beckons, and I feel
As one torn in all directions–
Adrift on varying currents,
Pulled this way and that
By indifferent waves.
There are teeth inside me
Gnawing constantly with
Doubt and pain–Indecision,
Guilt. Sin perceived
Is sin committed.
I want to crawl into this
Stranger’s house–with its
Cheerful chaos, and tidy color:
Gray, soft-seeming–
Like a dove.
Maybe I can slip through
Between Mother’s feet,
As a mouse–I’ll feed
On scraps of food (and love)
The family drops.
Maybe I can disappear
Into any (other) body–
Other soul, other mind!–maybe
I can be absorbed
Into an easier life.
Manifaustin 