Nowhere Stairs

photo 7bil

“Nowhere Stairs”

Everything beckons, and I feel
As one torn in all directions–
Adrift on varying currents,
Pulled this way and that
By indifferent waves.

There are teeth inside me
Gnawing constantly with
Doubt and pain–Indecision,
Guilt. Sin perceived
Is sin committed.

I want to crawl into this
Stranger’s house–with its
Cheerful chaos, and tidy color:
Gray, soft-seeming–
Like a dove.

Maybe I can slip through
Between Mother’s feet,
As a mouse–I’ll feed
On scraps of food (and love)
The family drops.

Maybe I can disappear
Into any (other) body–
Other soul, other mind!–maybe
I can be absorbed
Into an easier life.



Florida was absolutely wonderful. There was (the) Game of Thrones, (yummy) hookah, (amazing) food, (wonderful) family, and (perfect) friends. And a thousand thanks to those dear friends who let us be a part of their family every year. ┬áLove to all who were there, and I can’t wait until I see you all again!

Also: I return feeling refreshed and resolved, and I hope that you will keep me in your prayers (if you pray) as I try to find the next direction for my life.  Something about this weekend was transformative (a sort of jump for my soul), and I look forward to sharing with you as I carry on.